The Top 10 Funniest Fishing Jokes.

By: Joseph Simonds on January 29, 2015
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funniest fishing jokes

At then end of the day, fishing is supposed to be fun…

But sometimes we can all get so competitive trying to catch the most (or the biggest) fish, that we forget about the “fun factor”.

So this week we bring to you the Top 10 Funniest Fishing Jokes that we found by scouring the web, asking friends, and listening to Uncle Rico…

Also, we would love any of your best fishing jokes (please nothing vulgar) in the comment section after you read our top 10 fishing jokes.

Funny Fishing Joke 1

A guy had planned a fishing trip to his favorite fishing spot on the flats of Florida.

He packed and began the trip to the water.

He launched his boat, motored to his sea trout honey hole, and began fishing.

In no time, he caught the biggest trout he’d ever caught.

He cast out again and was delighted to catch an even larger trout.

Every cast, he caught a trophy fish.

Then his mobile phone rang; it was the hospital telling him his wife had been admitted to the emergency room.

She may die, they told him.

The fisherman is worried, but he wants to catch the world record trout, so he decides to have just a few more casts.

He pulls in three more really huge trout, but his conscience begins to get the better of him, so he reluctantly pulls anchor and motors back to his car to go to the hospital.

Running into the emergency room, he meets up with a stern-looking doctor.

The doctor sees the man dressed for fishing and scolds the husband: “Your wife has been at death’s door for hours now. You kept fishing after you were called, didn’t you? You ought to be ashamed!”

The fisherman sobbed it was true.

“Well,” said the doc, “I hope you had a good time; your wife will survive, but your fishing days are over…

She will require constant care from now on… 24 hours per day. You will have to do everything for her.”

The fisherman sobbed, “Oh God, I didn’t think it was that bad, I feel terrible!!!!”

The doc grinned and nudged the fisherman with his elbow…

”Just kidding, buddy… she’s dead. How many did you catch?” 

Funny Fishing Joke 2

A man was stopped by a game-warden in Northern Algonquin Park recently with two buckets of fish leaving a lake well known for its fishing.

The game warden asked the man, “Do you have a license to catch those fish?”

The man replied to the game warden, “No, sir. These are my pet fish.”

“Pet fish?!” the warden replied.

“Yes, sir. Every night I take these here fish down to the lake and let them swim around for a while. I whistle and they jump back into their buckets, and I take em home.”

“That’s a bunch of crap! Fish can’t do that!” replied the warden in disbelief.

The man looked at the game warden for a moment and then said, “Here, I’ll show you. It really works.”

“O.K. I’ve GOT to see this!” The game warden was curious.

The man poured the fish into the river and stood and waited…

After several minutes, the game warden turned to the man and said, “Well?”

“Well, what?” the man responded.

“When are you going to call them back?” the game warden prompted.

“Call who back?” the man asked.

“The FISH,” the warden said sternly.

“What fish?” the man asked.

Funny Fishing Joke 3

One day, two guys Frank and Bob were out fishing.

A funeral service passes over the bridge they’re fishing by, and Bob takes off his hat and puts it over his heart. He does this until the funeral service passes by.

Frank then said, “Gee Bob, I didn’t know you had it in you!”

Bob then replies, “It’s the least I could do. After all, I was married to her for 30 years.”

Funny Fishing Joke 4

The fishing season hasn’t opened yet, and a fisherman who doesn’t even have a license, is casting for trout as a stranger approaches and asks, “Any luck?”

“Any luck? Heck yes, this is a wonderful spot. I took 10 out of this stream yesterday” he boasts.

“Is that so? By the way, do you know who I am?” asks the stranger.

“Nope.”

“Well, meet the new game warden.”

“Oh,” gulped the fisherman…

“Well, do you know who I am?”

“Nope,” said the game warden.

“Meet the biggest liar in the state.”

Funny Fishing Joke 5

Q: What do fish and women have in common?

A: They both stop shaking their tale after you catch them!

 

Funny Fishing Joke 6

Three fishermen were fishing when they came upon a mermaid, the mermaid offered them one wish each so the first fisherman said: “double my I.Q” so the mermaid did it and to his surprise, he started recitingShakespearee.

Then the second fisherman said: “triple my I.Q.” and sure enough the mermaid did it and amazingly he started doing math problems he didn’t know existed.

The third fisherman was so impressed he asked the mermaid to quadruple his I.Q and the mermaid said “Are you sure about this? It will change your whole life!”

The fisherman said “yes” so the mermaid turned him into a woman…

Funny Fishing Joke 7

One day a rather inebriated ice fisherman drilled a hole in the ice and peered into the hole and a loud voice from above said, “There are no fish down there.”

He walked several yards away and drilled another hole and peered into the hole and again the voice said, “There’s no fish down there.”

He then walked about 50 yards away and drilled another hole and again the voice said, “There’s no fish down there.”

He looked up into the sky and asked, “God, is that you?”

“No, you idiot,” the voice said, “it’s the rink manager.”

Funny Fishing Joke 8

There was a billfish fisherman who was out in the ocean fishing when his boat sank.

He was lucky enough to make it to a deserted island where he had to survive on what he could find.

When the Coastguard eventually found him, the leader noticed there was a fire pit with California Condor feathers all around.

He went over to the fisherman and said, “You know, it’s illegal to kill a California Condor, I’m afraid I m going to have to arrest you.”

The fisherman protested for some time saying that he killed it because he was going to starve, but eventually he calmed down.

“Out of curiosity,” the coastguard asked, “What did it taste like?”

The fisherman replied, ” Well, it was kind of a mix between a snowy owl and a bald eagle.”

Funny Fishing Joke 9

Standing at the edge of the lake, a man saw a woman flailing about in the deep water.

Unable to swim, the man screamed for help.

A trout fisherman ran up.

The man said, “My wife is drowning and I can’t swim. Please save her. I ll give you a hundred dollars.”

The fisherman dove into the water…

In ten powerful strokes, he reached the woman, put his arm around her, and swam back to shore.

Depositing her at the feet of the man, the fisherman said, “Okay, where’s my hundred dollars?”

The man said, “Look, when I saw her going down for the third time, I thought it was my wife. But this is my mother-in-law.”

The fisherman reached into his pocket and said, “Just my luck. How much do I owe you?”

Funny Fishing Joke 10

Q: What you get when four men go fishing and one comes back not catching anything.

A: Three Men And A Baby

Related Post: 22 Outrageously Funny Fishing Memes That Only Anglers Can Relate To

funny fishing memes

P.S. – Do you have one of the funniest fishing jokes around? If so, please leave it in the comment section below. We would love to hear from you! Otherwise, TAG a friend!

Fish On!

Sources:
– http://www.jokes4us.com/sportsjokes/fishingjokes.html
– http://www.free-funny-jokes.com/funny-fishing-jokes.html
– Uncle Rico…

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Dave Miller
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Dave Miller

Why do you catch more female fish than male fish?
Because they cannot keep their mouths shut

Anonymous
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Anonymous

A young guy from Texas moves to California and goes to a big department store looking for a job. The manager says, “Do you have any sales experience?” The kid says, “Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Texas.” The boss liked the kid so he gave him the job.

“You start tomorrow. Ill come down after we close and see how you did.” His first day on the job was rough but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down.

“How many sales did you make today?”

Kid says, “One.”

Boss says, “Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day.
How much was the sale for?”

Kid says “$201,237.64.

Boss says “201,237.64?? What the heck did you sell?”

Kid says, “First I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fish hook. Then I sold him a larger fish hook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down at the coast, so I told him he was gonna need a boat; we went down to the boat department and I sold him that twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didnt think his Mercedes would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him an Escalade.”

The boss said, “A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and truck?”

Kid says, “No, he came in here to buy a box of tampons for his wife and I said, your weekends shot, you might as well go fishing.”

Gary Lowe
Member

Bubba invites his friend George the Game Warden to go fishing. Bubba rows out to the center of the lake, opens his tackle box, pulls out a stick of dynamite, lights it, and throws it overboard. George exclaims “what are you doing? You can’t do that, it’s illegal ” Bubba calmly lights another stick, hands it to George, and says “are you gonna talk or fish!”

Aaron Carlson
Guest
Aaron Carlson

A man was fishing on a lake when a game warden pulled up in his boat and boarded the boat of the fisherman. The game warden explains they were getting complaints about a man fishing with explosives and asked if he knew anything about it. The man pulls out a stick of dynamite, lights it, and hands it to the warden asking: “You gonna talk or you gonna fish”?

Emory Wells
Guest
Emory Wells

Two good ole boys from Alabama had been hearing for years how much fun ice fishing in Michigan was and decided to go. They loaded up their fishing tackle and headed north. Finding a large frozen lake they immediately headed into a bait and tackle store to inquire about methods and tactics for ice fishing. The clerk was friendly and helpful and told them what bait was needed and what tackle they would need. He also suggested they buy an ice pick to chip away a hole in the ice. Off they went to the lake. About two hours later they returned to the store telling the clerk they needed another ice pick. The clerk was puzzled but was happy to make the sale. So he sold them another ice pick. Three hours later they came back and said they better buy every ice pick he had. The clerk asked, “Haven’t you fellows caught any fish yet?”. One of the good ole boys replied, “Caught any? Hell, we ain’t even got the boat in the water yet.”

Joseph Stinson
Member

How do you know you have a ladyfish on the other end of the line? Because everytime it jumps, it complains about something

Terry
Guest
Terry

I caught a trout so big, the picture of it was 3 pounds. The negative was a pound. We went into the lake to eat it rather than bring it home. 

Luke Simonds
Admin

Q: Why did the husband go fishing on Valentines Day?A: To catch his wife a bouquet of flounders!

Luke Simonds
Member

Q: Why did the Vegan go fishing? A: Just for the Halibut