Funeral Home Threatens To Sue Salt Strong Due To Lack Of People Dying!

By: Joseph Simonds on June 8, 2016
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funeral home salt strong lawsuit

In what could be called one of the most outrageous lawsuits in America, one angry funeral home owner is accusing Salt Strong of hurting his funeral home’s business due to Salt Strong’s incredibly high UPF sun protection rating performance shirts.

The Marlin Funeral Home, owned by Martin “Marty” Marlin, claims that Salt Strong is making their shirts with too much sun protection, which is causing fewer people to get skin cancer on the back, arms, shoulders, and chest.

Mr. Marlin goes on to say that a big portion of his business comes from skin cancer deaths, and he has seen a significant decrease over the last year. And he blames that on Salt Strong’s shirts.

Note: According to the Salt Strong Shop page, all of their performance fishing shirts come standard with 50+ UPF rating.

When reached for comment, funeral home owner Martin Marlin said,

“Who do these guys at Salt Strong think they are coming out with such high sun protection fishing shirts? My company relies on anglers getting major sunburns by not protecting themselves while out fishing, and ultimately they end up here 6 feet under in my funeral home. How can I stay in business if more and more anglers keep buying their sun protection gear?”

According to the Martin, the 15 and 30 UPF rated shirts from some of the big named brands in retail stores hurt business a little bit when they came out a few years back. But when specialty brand Salt Strong came along and introduced 50+ UPF rated shirt direct to consumers at a fraction of the price that retailers charge, it was a huge hit to any business relying on skin cancer.

And now that Salt Strong is letting any angler test out any shirt or hat for a full 30 days to make sure they love the shirt (the Salt Strong 30-Day Challenge), Martin doesn’t see a slowdown in Salt Strong shirt sales anytime soon. Especially this summer with all of the Florida heat on the way.

Salt Strong co-founder Joe Simonds had this to say about Martin’s accusation:

“As a melanoma survivor myself, our goal is to protect our fellow anglers. If we can save one angler from skin cancer on his or her back or arms like I went through, then we consider that a huge success. We’ll never feel bad or worry about a frivolous lawsuit when we know we are doing the right thing by protecting our fellow anglers.

Martin is out of his mind trying to sue Salt Strong over something like this. I mean, what’s next, are dermatologists going to come after us for helping save anglers from skin damage?

And for the record, not only do our high-powered sun protection fishing shirts help protect against skin damage and skin cancer, but they also prevent men from one of the most dreaded thing that any two guys on a boat could ever be faced with… having to rub sun screen on each other’s backs.”

Stay tuned to the Salt Strong blog for more updates on this potential Salt Strong lawsuit.

sun protection performance fishing shirts

About Salt Strong:

To learn more about Salt Strong and their 50+ UPF high-quality, wholesale priced Sun Protection shirts click here.

About Martin Marlin’s Funeral Home:

To learn more about Martin Marlin’s Funeral Home, click here.

Disclaimer: Martin Marlin is a fictitious character created for this blog. There is no Martin Marlin Funeral Home. There is no Salt Strong lawsuit. The real Martin Marlin is a real marlin. No marlin were hurt in the making of this blog post.
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Curry Belk Recent comment authors
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Curry Belk

Haha. I am a funeral director/embalmer at my family’s funeral home. I about fell out my chair laughing when I read this. Good one guys! ??????