The Real Reason There’s So Much Hate And Disfunction In America…


We’ve become a country of hate.

We’ve become a country of blame and finger-pointing.

We’ve become a country of entitlement.

We’ve become a country that is all about ME… not about WE.

We’ve become a country that’s led to believe we must pick a side (and that anyone who disagrees with us is wrong).

We’ve become a country where morals have been thrown out the window.

What we’re witnessing today in American society disgusts me… In fact, I’m sick to my stomach with all the hate, one-sidedness, and a complete lack of respect for others.

So I wanted to do this blog post to bring some attention to the real problem at hand…

First, Here’s What Is NOT The Core Problem…

The problem is NOT politicians (there have been both good and bad politicians for thousands of years… nothing new here).

The problem is NOT Republicans and it is NOT Democrats (a political viewpoint is nothing more than a viewpoint from the people… it’s never the core problem).

The problem is NOT the media (media can only amplify the voices, behaviors, and morals of the society that it reports on… they are not the problem… the people are).

The problem is NOT income inequality (this too has been around for thousands of years… my guess is that there will always be large differences in income provided some people work harder, smarter, and take bigger risks than others).

The problem is NOT the police (for anyone who believes police are the issue, have you ever considered why they have a job in the first place? It’s to protect law-abiding citizens from the knuckleheads who can’t obey the law… if you want to disband the police, simply stop breaking the law and they won’t have a job…)

The problem is NOT racism (racism and discrimination have been going on for thousands of years… from race to religion… it’s not new and even if racism ended tomorrow, it still doesn’t fix the fundamental problems in America).

Here’s The Real Problem In America…

The real problem can all be summed up in one quote from Time magazine…

“No society has ever survived after its family life deteriorated…”

Yes, the real reason we have so much hate and dysfunction in America is that we’ve ripped apart and bastardized the one thing that holds any society together… FAMILY.

Why is family so important?

Family is where you learn right from wrong.

Family is where you first learn to play together as a team.

Family is where you learn how to have healthy conversations and debates.

Family is where you learn that it’s ok to still love someone even if you don’t completely agree with them.

Family is where you learn it’s NOT ok to discriminate, that it’s NOT ok to treat others badly, and that it’s NOT ok to tease someone because they look different than you (regardless if it’s color of skin, handicapped, they way they dress, etc).

Family is where you learn that you aren’t entitled to anything… that you’ve got to put in the WORK for anything you want or desire.

Family is where you learn that you can’t be selfish… that it’s NOT all about you… it’s about the family UNIT.

Family is where you learn about LOVE and what it looks like to do good in God’s eyes…

Yet today we have hardly any focus on the family… it’s no longer a priority.

Today you’re considered weird if your family has sit-down dinners and prays at the table and has real discussions as a family…

Sadly, it’s now easier to disregard our families and blame anything we can point our fingers on as being the problem…

All while we celebrate and applaud the celebrities who cheat on their spouses and leave them for “better looking” replacements…

We celebrate divorces like they are nothing more than an 8th grader leaving their junior high sweetheart (have we completely forgotten that marriage is a covenant that every couple signed with their spouse and God).

What’s really sad is that we’ve forgotten what it means to be loving parents who are fully engaged with our children… it’s easier to just buy them a phone or have them sit in front of the TV than it is to be the loving parents that we know we’re called to be…

And hardly anyone has time to have a sit-down dinner with our family because we’re all too busy… I know the feeling… it’s not easy to be a good parent, it’s work!

Still Not Sure That A Breakdown Of The Family Is The Core Issue?

Spend a day at your local prison and ask the prisoners who’ve committed the worst crimes what their family life was like… almost every single one of them will tell you they came from a broken and dysfunctional family.

Heck, spend a day at any public school in America and just ask the teachers what the biggest problem is… they’ll be quick to tell you that more and more kids lack parents who care… that countless parents are using public schools as daycare so they don’t have to put any work into their kids… that the family life in so many of these young children is non-existent… how sad.

How can we possibly expect anyone to know right from wrong and how to love thy neighbor if we’re not doing it as a family?

How can we expect to have a stable foundation as a society if there isn’t a stable family structure?

Simply put, a breakdown in the family results in a breakdown in society.

It’s really simple math… disrespectful kids with no foundation equal disrespectful adults with no moral compass…

That’s always been the case, there are just more of them today than at any time in American history.

My biggest fear is that it’s too late to repair without hitting complete rock bottom… but I share some ideas in this podcast below.

What are your thoughts on this?

I’d love to hear from you in the comments below.

The Real Problem In America… [PODCAST]


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Thank you for being part of the Salt Strong family!

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God vs Science. Salt Strong Unchurched Episode

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3 months ago

Entitlement may be a portion of the problem. However, the economic gap poses a huge risk to society. Wages have not kept up with inflation and it takes at least 2 adults working IF the parents are still together. This leaves little room for future planning or the ability of families to slow down. If the parents are not together then it takes the government stepping in with ENTITLEMENTS. If you want to know how this has happened just take a look at the generations before us with the sexual revolution of the sixties and seventies. This is the same generation that is voting policies or writing policies in America today. But we need to listen to them because they’ve done such a great job so far, right? Celebrity worship is the replacement of the role model in the home. You are right that it is the breakdown of the family that has caused this great divide in the US. But, look at the generations before that forged this path in the 60s-90s. This is the same generation telling everyone that they know what’s best for us. You wonder why there is so much distrust and division, look at the ones writing policy.

5 months ago

Excellent, definitely the truth…another big issue that I see is the entitlement…I see a lot of parents supporting their children for bad behavior…no matter what they do they support them…now those kids grew up and became monsters, they feel entitled to everything as well as they believe they can disrespect anybody and they feel there’s no consequences…why should it be…their parents and society has promoted bad behavior…too late.

6 months ago

Hello. How true and so depressing. When I can not be with members of my immediate family, my friends are my other family. In addition to love and nuturring, we need family and friends. Without either, we all stay in place and stagnate. The solution…………find new people that need our help and love and support. By doing so, we add to the number of friends. Nothing but my best and my love to all (all = every member of the human race).

C. Duane Sell
6 months ago

Totally agree!

Ralph Saunders
9 months ago

You hit every cylinder,The family is broken,I think the federal government is part of the blame for that. No father in home. Kids growing up to fast and has no respect for others. Kids having kids,and the education system is failing. Everyone is chasing the dollar and losing what is really important like family. Guns make it easier to settle differences. America 🇺🇸 is heading to destruction

1 year ago

Well said! My grandmother was a single mom during a war, but was an great mother! My mom raised my brother and I by herself basically because my dad was an alcoholic…he was never a father, but she was there for us 100 percent!! I raised my daughter alone also because I married a man like my father….but I was very involved in her life, we trusted each other and talked about everything! He didn’t see how much of our lives he missed until he saw our daughter’s marriage going the same route as ours…it was a rude awakening! We didn’t become a real family until my grandchildren became teenagers, because both he and my son in law finally grew up and realized that family IS the most important !!! So that’s 3 generations of disfunction with the women in the families bearing the burden of raising children and teaching them that we weren’t normal and what families should look like! I believe there are many families like ours, which is sad, but I feel lucky too for having strong, caring, women in our family that were PARENTS!!! Problem is….what can we do to fix it to bring back the love???

1 year ago

I would say that this was really well written. As a man who grew up in a home with multiple marriages before I was 18, the instability is astounding. I spent some time in prison and have worked hard for 12 years to be a good dad. It has not been an easy job at all. The amount of pressure that the millennial generation has to be a parent is challenging because at least half of our generation grew up without one of our parents at home. Being a father is one of the most important jobs I’ve ever had and also incredibly difficult.


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